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I’ve lived on this earth for at least nineteen years already and the more recent years have been extremely difficult. As a kid I never had way too many issues since I did pretty good and school and was actually pretty smart for my age. These days, I’m a bit dumb for my age. The point is the work I had to do was pretty easy for me. I didn’t even have any younger siblings at the time so that really helped. One day, I came home from school and two newborn girls were in their cribs. I was suddenly an older brother.
They’re nine years old now and putting up with them lately has been hard. But it’s not just now. Not long after they appeared in my life was when things started to go downhill for me. I had previously done well in school but I was starting to struggle. For years, I had been the “good child” that did his work and stayed out of trouble, praised for more than my older brother ever was. I didn’t receive help from anyone when I started struggling. My family only gave me shit and started to compare me to my older brother. I don’t know how many times I’ve talked about stuff like this but I know this isn’t the first time. Anyways, this all leads me the point I’m trying to make: I’m quite used to things going wrong. It’s been that way for years. In the past, I’ve been treated like crap by both family and “friends” I had at school. I would later end up with more problems like cutaneous adherence syndrome, the condition that makes my hands feel sticky all the time and the feeling never fades. There is no cure, only different forms of treatment. I go back and forth between using a certain type of medical lotion and wearing gloves. The latter of which I use when I’m going to be using one of my devices for a while. Speaking of devices, my computer died this weekend. I was in the middle of playing Danganronpa 2 and the computer froze. I had this issue all the time with Windows 7, but after upgrading to Windows 10 in 2015 it seemed to stop. However, it has gone back to it and it’s been happening a lot more than I’d like. After my computer froze a couple days ago, I turned the machine off and tried starting it again. The computer ran but nothing was displayed on my monitor. I tried a few more times but sill had no luck. The next day, my dad did some work on it. Now it won’t even turn on. Because of this I no longer have a desktop PC, and am stuck using my dad’s slower than shit laptop for homework which isn’t good because some of the programs I need for me software development classes don’t like this device. If I want to use Twitter, I can also use my 3DS or my phone. I’m hoping the latter of which isn’t damaged for good. It got some water on it today and wasn’t turning on earlier. My life is full of bad luck and I seem to have picked up a lot of that when it comes to electronic devices. Hopefully the issues I’ve been dealing with will be resolved. Fortunately, in the case my computer does not get fixed, I have a laptop for myself that will be arriving around Valentine’s day. I honestly hope the data on my computer can be saved though. A lot of important projects were on there: early video scripts, all my visual novel files, any save data, and the most important thing of all, my folder full of anime pictures which is mostly anime girls. Until I get my own laptop, I won’t be online as much in the day. I’ll probably be playing a game on one of my old game consoles or doing something on my 3DS. I am not dead, but I am on the inside… forever.T
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